Well another month has passed with another disappointing update, they were only able to match 2 boys this month! Apparently the 30 to 40 agencies around the world are much vigorous about locking files than in Canada? Anyway, I am still practicing being patient, but man is it hard!!!
In the meantime over the next month, it is time for us to update our homestudy. It is hard to believe that it has been a year since we did it. So that will keep me somewhat busy over the next month with fingerprinting, record checks, medicals, and updating forms. Since we are updating, now would be the time to make any changes to our request. We are considering changing the age we will accept to 3yrs instead of 2.
The reason we chose up to 24months, was basically for attachment reasons, also we want her to have a family as young as possible. I also have selfish reasons for wanting her to be younger, it makes me sad to think that we missed those first few years. That I wasn't there when she cut her first tooth, took her first step, to comfort her in the middle of the night or to hear her first word. I am not sure how to deal with the sadness of missing all of her firsts. It brought so much joy when our boys learned a new word, or learned to walk, but I am hoping the memories that we will make once she is home, will make up for missing those beginning months/years.
I am not sure that any training sessions, books or even being a mother already, can prepare you for the many different feelings that international adoption brings. On any given day, you can go from being frustrated on the length of the whole process, sad for the little ones that sit and wait, mad for the first two and amazed by the support and love you get from others.
I know some day soon all of these feelings will fade away; just as the memory of labor pains during birth; once we see her sweet face and hold her in our arms all of the hard work will have been so worth it.
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1
Your blog always make me cry.You have a way with words,you always know how to express yourself and say what you are feeling.I love reading your blog,it is always interesting.Iam HAPPY and SAD all the same time.HAPPY for your little Girl to come Home and SAD that it takes so long!!!I guess all we can do now is PRAY and WAIT~~~~(PATIENTLY).LOVE YOU!!!!!!MOM.
ReplyDeleteI remember exactly how I felt when we switched and all those feelings and fears disapeared the day I seen her sweet little face at the Provincial Adoption office. God will prepare your heart for the change if it comes!
ReplyDeleteSugar Pie regressed a bit and she wanted me to baby her for a while after we got home. I allowed her to not only for her but for me too! (Emotionally she is still 2 years behind...and thats fine with me, she will leap into her age soon enough) And we had TONS of firsts. God is good and He will fill all the voids in a way that fills us to the brim.
Bless you!
Ps. Are you coming to the Island this summer???
Thanks Debz, and I would love to visit PEI this summer. It has been a few years since we have been there. So who knows, maybe we can meet if we do. Take care and TTYS.
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