Every night Keely and I say her prayers together. We pray for family, friends and pets. The last few weeks I started adding in praying for all of the babies in China that need mommies and daddies, the nanny's at the orphanage and for her birth mother. It was a bit awkward at first to bring up the subject of her birth mom. For one, she is 3 and a 1/2, second it's not exactly an easy subject to talk about. I was worried I was putting ideas in her little head that she wasn't quite able to understand; I don't really understand it all myself; but I knew I wanted to start the conversation sooner than later.
The most precious moment was when she prayed for those babies, nanny's and her birth mom all on her own without me prompting her one night. I must say it brought tears to my eyes! She loves to talk about being a baby in China. She will explain the whole story about mommy and daddy coming to get her on a big plane and that she cried and cried!
The other day while Chris was home for lunch, she was sitting on her trike and started talking away about her birth mommy not being able to take care of her. I guess I forgot to mention to daddy that I had talked to her about this. Needless to say he was a bit surprised!
I'm not exactly sure what to say to her about this topic. I believe her birth mother wanted her to have a better life. I also believe that she loved her so much that she chose to wrap her up and place her in a bamboo basket with formula, the date of her birth and place her outside the police station, knowing that she would be quickly found and taken somewhere safe.
I know in the Chinese culture the grim reality of so many babies is death by abortion or shortly after they are born. This is not because they are horribly cruel heartless people, but because they feel there is no other way! I can't imagine the turmoil and pressure so many mothers feel that they must choose death for their babies! I am so very thankful that our daughters birth mother chose life for her and
had the courage to do what she did. For that, I can have the confidence to tell my daughter that she IS SO LOVED by her birth mommy, the nanny that cared for her and now her Forever Family!
I know the more we talk about this, the more questions and many different feelings will arise. Am I prepared? No!!! But for now we will stick with Prayers and let her freely talk about her birth mom, hoping that as she grows it will be a natural and comfortable conversation for both her and I.
This morning while getting ready for church she asked me, " why are you my mommy?" I said, "because God chose me to be" " are you happy that I am your mommy?" "Yes" and away she went.
So today I am thankful that she is content with that answer and especially thankful that she is happy that I am her Mommy!!!!
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Beautiful prayers from a precious little girl!
ReplyDeleteI just recently began to speak of Hannah's birth mom with her too and slowly she will say more. I love that you inclue the babies in China, the nannies and the birth parents in your prayers. I think this is something I will begin to do too. I want to keep the doors as open as possible and pray that I have the words when the questions come.